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Good Reads- Surrogacy, IVF & Parenting

2/18/2014

1 Comment

 

I’ve always been a "reader" but I generally listen to audio books to help me endure my hour + commute twice a day…and I tend to stick to YA sci-fi...
However since starting our surrogacy journey I have read several "real" books and figured I would share my reviews in case anyone is interested in reading up on the subject. ...

DISCLAIMER: This post contains affiliate links and banner ads, which means I receive compensation if you make a purchase using these links. Thanks!
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How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup: A Guy's Guide to the  World of Infertility
Wolfe, Greg

While this one is not surrogacy specific, it’s at the top of my list. A MUST READ FOR ANYONE GOING THROUGH IVF. I bought it for my husband but after browsing through a few pages I had to read it myself before passing it on. I actually learned a great deal about the IVF process and it was broken down into such an easy to read and often hysterical manner. 


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Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
May, Ina


This one is also not surrogacy specific but I have learned so much from reading it. It has helped plan ahead and figure out the type of surrogate I would like to match with, and make sure our beliefs and ideals about the pregnancy and birth are aligned.

Before reading I didn’t know much about being pregnant or births and the decisions parents have to make regarding their child during those times. I did attend my the birth of my niece in 2006, which was an uncomplicated hospital birth, but I never had an appreciation for a more natural holistic approach before reading this book. In conjunction I also watched the movie and follow up serious “The Business of Being Born” which I also suggest everyone watches. 

While I think a home birth in a surrogacy situation would be absolutely beautiful and would cut out a lot of the red tape most IP’s have to go through at a hospital, for myself and our journey I’m still not a full supporter, and I hope to have a midwife relaxed experience, in a hospital. I think, as with all things, its informed choice. Don’t feel instantly swayed one way or the other just because you read about success rates, or its “the thing to do.” Do your research and decide what’s best for you and your situation.

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Surrogacy Was the Way: Twenty Intended Mothers Tell Their Stories
Griswold, Zara

This was the first book I read on the topic of Gestational Surrogacy. While it is now very dated (late 1990’s) and the laws and such are no longer relevant, the feelings, concerns and stories are all still very much relevant and relatable. This book has provided me with much more insight, and things to think about while trying to start our surrogacy journey. Certainly worth a read! Also it includes a few women with MRKH, so it was nice to see that included.



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Our Journey: One Couple's Guide to U.S. Surrogacy
Westoby, Richard

What’s special about this one is that the author is active on the various facebook surrogacy forums, so he’s reachable and is quick to respond with any questions. This is about a same sex European couple that used an agency in the US. I did skip a few chapters that pertained to the
foreign requirements, but the rest of the book was very helpful. There is even an appendix with sample contracts, pre birth orders, and affidavits, etc. Be forewarned they claim the book is aimed at helping people save money during the process but they went high-end everything, all the way even a live in baby nurse, so I doubt they know much about being thrifty.

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The Baby Chase: How Surrogacy Is Transforming the American Family
Steiner, Leslie Morgan

Totally my fault for not reading the excerpt on the inside cover before purchasing. Just going by the title alone I assumed I would learn the ins and outs of surrogacy WITHIN the US....but nope! lol While India is a great option for some pursuing surrogacy, it's just not for me and my Husband. And this book set that even more for us. The Wile's had an amazing journey and I loved following along. If you’re at all interested in Surrogacy in India, then this is a great book for you. Or if you just want to read an uplifting story about overcoming infertility then this is the book for you. If you want to learn about surrogacy within the US…then this is NOT the book for you. It does mention a few things about US surrogacy, including RESOLVE, and my own clinic Shady Grove Fertility, but otherwise no real US info.

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Bringing in Finn: An Extraordinary Surrogacy Story
Connell, Sara

This book was about a mother carrying a child for her daughter. It was very uplifting and emotional story. I really enjoyed reading it. It showed the more emotional side of the infertility rollercoaster, and the process healed the mother-daughter relationship.   It dealt closely with an issue I often have:  "Can I trust my own body? It has failed me so many times already, maybe I wasn't meant to carry a child." 



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 Delivering Hope: The Extraordinary Journey of a Surrogate Mom
MacPhee, Pamela

This was a great read. I was able to blast through it in one weekend. It’s about a lady in California carrying for her cousin and his wife who had cervical cancer. They had an easy, uncomplicated and uneventful surrogacy, pregnancy and birth, so not much drama.  It does get into the emotional aspect of a surrogate before during and after a surrogacy which was helpful to understand more of that side of the situation. She was honest that sometimes, even if for one split second, wondered if she made the right decision doing the surrogacy. And she went into some details about how she explained it to her children, family, friends, neighbors, etc. Overall it was a good read. The only negative is…the pages are glossy, so the book is stupidly heavy! Bad for me since I usually read laying down, it made my arms get a work out!!! Stupid complaint I know…but I had to mention it.  I highly recommend getting this for any potential surrogate to read, its a wonderful and honest look at surrogacy.

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I Got Drunk at my Baby Shower: Our Successful Surrogacy Story
Bowen, Susan

I was initially turned off by the title. I instantly thought "What I wouldn't give to not be able to drink at my own baby shower...." But after reading several good reviews I bought it.

I couldn't get past the few pages, very flippant look at surrogacy.

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Breastfeeding Without Birthing: A Breastfeeding Guide for Mothers through Adoption, Surrogacy, and Other Special Circumstances
Schnell, Alyssa

I plan on inducing lactation (meaning I can breastfeed my child even though I
was never pregnant). This book was written in 2013, so its resources are very much up
to date. The book is very encouraging and gives great REALISTIC advice for  mothers through surrogacy or adoption. It cementing the plan in my mind that I  want to induce lactation even if I am not fully successful.  GREAT  read for anyone interested in breastfeeding their child.

Join my Inducing Lacation Facebook Group.

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Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding
May, Ina

Great book! A look at natural breastfeeding.

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Considering Surrogacy
Oliver, Lisa

Started reading this....had to stop. Very techincal, facual and dry. What I did read was nothing new, or anything you can't find online for free.



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1 Comment
dani link
10/27/2017 09:07:25 am

Whether you are a surrogate mother or some intended parents surrogacy is a way for a lot of people facing infertility issues to achieve their dream of parenthood

Reply



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